Broken Flowers.

Broken Flowers.

Golden 
Warm 
Shared 
Loving 
A vision of equality
and 
Future voyages
Plans 
Hopes 
Excitement

            Stay

Valentine confirmation

            Stay

Then five bitter words,

                                    It'll soon turn sour

?

Not me
Not us?

Cooling
Distance
Control

?

It's OK
She's busy
Aunty
Death
Hep C for herself
Jackie and baby
Work
More and more
Too much

Remember the love
The golden glister
Her loving gaze
Our promise.
Eyes filled with "us"
And hope

Cooling

Distant

Pushed gently

Firmly away

            run

My heart written in a card
My soul in love in words
Hoping reassurance

            Stay

                                    What a lovely card, where do you find them?

            run

Reaching
I love you in a text

                                    "seen"

...

...

            run

A call
Friendly
Neutral
"I love you"

...

                                    "Love you too"

            Run

Such a small whisper thing
Hardly heard
Hardly spoken
Obliged into existence
Pulled
Reluctant
Hidden

...

            RUN

Friday
Distance
Alone

Waiting nervous
Broken Flowers, breaking,
waiting
Hoping you won't come

            run

Watched in the street
Cold

            run

There

No smile of welcome
No light
Who is this woman?
Blackness
No love
Dark within
Empty
Heard-hearted negotiator
of her future
But not ours, or mine

            Run

Golden heart-fire
not even banked
Ashes, if that
Armoured
All that is missing; a briefcase

            Run

Are we OK?

            Run

                                    Words

            Stay

I don't understand
Confusion deafens me

            Run

Can we talk?
My car?
Quiet womblike
Enfolding dark
Safe

                                    Too cold

Where is trust?

            Run

                                    In there

Cafe?

            Run

Bright Friday bustle
Pressing eyes, for my tears
Pressing ears, to the sound
of my breaking heart
Pressing closeness of
strangers,
as I long only for your
touch
Waterfall of meaningless
voices,
to smother my questions.

Just so you can tell and
close

            Run

No,
I can't go there

            Run

Who is this stranger?
Telling me
Our love is dead
Telling me
I can't be equal
Telling me
We can't continue

So soon after the beauty
of before

            Run

Telling me
I was never in love with her

            Run

Telling me

                                    With you it's all or nothing

No,
It's love
Or it's not love

If not love, then what?

            Run

Inequality
Cold child role
Critically chiding,
Me
Waiting
Withering

I can't
Not after our love, our
vision
Not this diversion from
our journey
Not into the dark limbo
you want

            RUN

I wrote this in recall of my last date with Christine –my true love and soul mate.  Broken Flowers was the film we were due to see on our last date, 26 February. It is in three voices: narrator, inner voice, my lost partner ),