Broken Flowers.
Golden
Warm
Shared
Loving
A vision of equality
and
Future voyages
Plans
Hopes
Excitement
Stay
Valentine
confirmation
Stay
Then five
bitter words,
It'll soon turn sour
?
Not me
Not us?
Cooling
Distance
Control
?
It's OK
She's busy
Aunty
Death
Hep C for herself
Jackie and baby
Work
More and more
Too much
Remember the
love
The golden glister
Her loving gaze
Our promise.
Eyes filled with "us"
And hope
Cooling
Distant
Pushed gently
Firmly away
run
My heart
written in a card
My soul in love in words
Hoping reassurance
Stay
What a lovely card, where do you find them?
run
Reaching
I love you in a text
"seen"
...
...
run
A call
Friendly
Neutral
"I love you"
...
"Love you too"
Run
Such a small
whisper thing
Hardly heard
Hardly spoken
Obliged into existence
Pulled
Reluctant
Hidden
...
RUN
Friday
Distance
Alone
Waiting
nervous
Broken Flowers, breaking,
waiting
Hoping you won't come
run
Watched in
the street
Cold
run
There
No smile of
welcome
No light
Who is this woman?
Blackness
No love
Dark within
Empty
Heard-hearted negotiator
of her future
But not ours, or mine
Run
Golden
heart-fire
not even banked
Ashes, if that
Armoured
All that is missing; a briefcase
Run
Are we OK?
Run
Words
Stay
I don't
understand
Confusion deafens me
Run
Can we
talk?
My car?
Quiet womblike
Enfolding dark
Safe
Too cold
Where is trust?
Run
In there
Cafe?
Run
Bright Friday
bustle
Pressing eyes, for my tears
Pressing ears, to the sound
of my breaking heart
Pressing closeness of
strangers,
as I long only for your
touch
Waterfall of meaningless
voices,
to smother my questions.
Just so you
can tell and
close
Run
No,
I can't go there
Run
Who is this
stranger?
Telling me
Our love is dead
Telling me
I can't be equal
Telling me
We can't continue
So soon after
the beauty
of before
Run
Telling
me
I was never in love with her
Run
Telling me
With you it's all or nothing
No,
It's love
Or it's not love
If not love,
then what?
Run
Inequality
Cold child role
Critically chiding,
Me
Waiting
Withering
I can't
Not after our love, our
vision
Not this diversion from
our journey
Not into the dark limbo
you want
RUN
I wrote this in
recall of my last date with Christine –my
true love and soul mate. Broken Flowers
was the film we were due to see on our last date, 26 February. It is in three
voices: narrator, inner voice, my lost partner ),